Saving Silverman: The Wonders of Gravy

Rated PG-13

Judith, (Amanda Peet of The Whole Nine Yards) goes on a power trip and becomes the psycho bitch girlfriend from hell in this unlikely romp through Gen-X fantasyland. An attractive psychiatrist with a head full of dominatrix tendencies and a chest full of over-exposed cleavage, Judith sets out to totally control her wuss boyfriend, Darren Silverman (Jason Biggs of American Pie). And Darren finds his hands full in this movie, just as he did in American Pie, except this time he uses a bottle of lotion.

Darren’s two boyhood buddies, idiot J.D. (Jack Black of High Fidelity) and idiot Wayne (Steve Zahn of Happy Texas) cannot tolerate this set-up. With their best pal preoccupied with his new girlfriend and his bottle of lotion, J.D. and Wayne must learn the dangerous art of thinking. They must also reevaluate their charted course of free-time frolics — mainly hanging out, drinking beer and leaving potato chip crumbs all over the furniture.

In hope of saving Silverman from a fate worse than this movie, the dauntless dipstick duo develop a brilliant plan to kidnap poor Judith. This will give Darren time to fall back in love with Sandy, his childhood sweetheart who intends to become a nun and dedicate her life to a wardrobe of basic black.

Things don’t go exactly as planned. (Who’da guessed?) Manipulating Judith hates being abducted. She also hates being chained to an engine block. But captivity teaches her to appreciate things like a warm gravy dribble on bare cleavage.

All this well developed conflict sweeps the audience away on a tidal wave of pratt-falls, crotch-shots and generally amusing slapstick misadventure. One of the two words I’m looking for can only be…derrr…stupid. This must be the stupidest movie since the Three Stooges stumbled, slapped and eye-gouged their way onto the silver screen. The other word I’m looking for can only be…cleavage. Stark, unrelenting, in-your-face cleavage (the very best kind).

If you belong to Gen-X, you may enjoy this movie. These high-energy idiots prove conclusively that you never grow too old to act like a moron. If you happen to be an over-the-hill baby boomer (like me), you may find the movie a bit tiring and…stupid.

I like fresh, young faces and cleavage, and I grew up with Larry, Moe and Curly, so I’m giving the cast a “B” for acting (up) in this movie. As for the movie, I give it an “S” for stupid.

Dixie says: I love it when young actors focus their talent and energy on a project and do such a wonderful job. Their dedication and professionalism showed in every scene. And Neil Diamond did a great job, too. But I think I remember this plot from somewhere. It rehashes that tired old theme of girl gets boy, girl loses boy, girl loses tooth. I like slapstick comedy, and I appreciate learning new ways to clean up gravy spills, so I give it a “B+.”

Don & Dixie Mitchell

Don and Dixie perform stand-up comedy for a variety of clubs in Texas and Louisiana. Recently, Dixie placed in the quarter finals of Ed McMahon’s Next Big Star comedy contest. Don, a nationally published freelancer, writes comedy, poetry, and articles dealing in country themes. Don and Dixie also write comedy skits and amusing movie review articles, including “Family Fun at the Movies” at simplejoy.org.