Jessica at Waiting on Wednesday has listed The Modern Fae’s Guide as one of the books she wants to read, because it sounds like fun and offers stories from a lot of new-to-her authors. Hoping the book satisfies on all counts, Jessica.
And while we’re on the subject of great reads, don’t forget Leaves of Flame, Benjamin Tate’s follow-up to his excellent Well of Sorrows. Benjamin, in case you don’t know, is who Modern Fae editor Joshua Palmatier is when he’s not at home. You won’t be disappointed!
This week’s Six Sentence Sunday offers offers the opening of a story you can read right now, “Billy’s Monster” from Hellfire Lounge 2: Rat Pack Redux. If you like your horror with a big helping of humor and fun, this is the book for you. I haven’t posted my usual information slug on the main page only because resizing the cover is giving me grief. The delay is killing me, too. In addition to great stories by C.J. Henderson, Danielle Ackley-McPhail, KT Pinto, Robert Waters and our fearless editor (and he has to be!) Rick Allen Leider, the book features a fabulous cover by Ben Fogletto and amazing interior art by Ed Coutts, Ben Fogletto, Denny Fincke, Jason Whitley and Paul London. (Face it, I’m all about the pictures. )
“Billy’s Monster”
Billy was six years old when he brought home a monster. It had sharp, pointed teeth all around its mouth like a possum. Two rows of three stubby horns each grew from its forehead. Its spotted feathers were as soft as bunny fur, and it churred when Billy rubbed its tummy and fingered the satiny leather of its wings.
Billy’s parents didn’t know what to make of it. But it wasn’t too big, and they never did see a creature better at catching the mice and other varmints around the farm.
Posted 4 months, 1 week ago at 8:00 am. 13 comments
Sunday, January 8th, 2012 | Author: jmward14 | Blog | 6 Comments
Welcome to my first Six Sentence Sunday (you have no idea how many times I’ve written that “Six Second Sunday” lol) Today’s excerpt is from a little story called “Burning Down the House” commissioned for Hellfire Lounge 3: Jinn Rummy. Take a New York nightclub, combine with two feuding sorcerers and one large jinni–and get the hell out of the way.
“Look, Eddie, I wasn’t born yesterday, or yester-century, for that matter. You’ve got another bottle hidden in that bundle of fabric you’re holding. You want me to show you how I fit into a bottle ‘no bigger than…’ by turning myself into smoke and popping down in there so you can slap one of those extra Seals of Solomon you brought with you over the top. The beer bottle or whatever you scrounged on your way over here won’t hold me as well as a charmed number, but you figure it’ll last until you can get it enchanted. Like I’m gonna give you the chance.”
“But it always works in the stories.”
Posted 4 months, 2 weeks ago at 8:00 am. 6 comments
Saturday, December 24th, 2011 | Author: jmward14 | Blog | No Comments
Since I was evil enough to post a picture of Annette’s Apple Pie, it seems only fair that I provide the recipe. This is taken from an old Samhain fantasy blog that’s still out there, somewhere… Consider it my little holiday present. May Christmas find you warm, happy and healthy with all your loved ones around you.
Apple Magic
Forbidden fruit and food of the gods, the apple has a hell of a rep to live up to.
I can see why the Greeks and the Norse made golden apples part of the minimum daily requirement for immortality. People have been talking about the health benefits of apples ever since there have been people talking. Plus, in a climate cold enough to grow them, properly stored apples will last longer than almost any other fruit. Dried apples last even longer.
The whole forbidden fruit gig, however, seemed way off-base. The Bible never specified the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Why decided it was an apple? Apples are hard. Why not something fleshy and sensual like a peach or a nectarine? Or that eternal naughty, the cherry?
Some scholars think the Romans are to blame. The Latin word for apple (malus) is very close to the Latin word for evil (malum). The sources for the two words are completely different. But medieval and Renaissance painters of the Garden of Eden didn’t know malus came from the Hittite word for branch and malum from someplace else entirely. The mythological connections probably didn’t help either. If a Greek nymph used it to keep her girlish figure, it had to be bad for your soul. Look what Eris did with her golden apple. One little beauty contest later and Troy was history. From there it was only a little step to wicked stepmothers and Disney dwarves.
Much as I’d like to think an apple a day would keep me young forever, I can’t see it happening. But I do think the fruit is magical, especially at this time of the year when farmers markets and roadside stands offer them by the bushel. Especially in a pie.
With that in mind, I offer Mom’s Apple Pie. No really. This recipe comes from my husband’s mother, and it’s the surest way I know to make bushels of apples vanish. The rectangular pan specified in the recipe became a family tradition because the standard-sized, round version of the pie never lasted long enough for leftovers.
Annette’s Slovak Apple Pie
Ingredients:
(Recipe amounts based on a rectangular pan, roughly 12 by 8 by 2 inches.)
Crust
3 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
¼ tsp cinnamon
½ tsp salt
2 tbsp sugar
½ lb butter
1/3 – ½ cup cold milk (or more, as needed)
Additional flour for rolling dough
Filling
6 cups apples, peeled, cored and sliced (or enough to fill the pan with a little mound in the center)
½ cup unseasoned cracker or bread crumbs
1 – 1 ¼ cup sugar (depending on the sweetness of the apples)
2 tbsp butter
Cinnamon
1 – 2 tbsp flour (only if the apples are very juicy)
Directions:
Start the crust by sifting the measured flour, baking powder, cinnamon, salt and sugar together. Add the butter. Mix together with a pastry cutter or two knives (one held in each hand) until the mixture is reduced to even bits of dough about the size of peas. Sprinkle the milk over the dough until you can pat the dough into a large ball. (This part can be done with your hands if you work fast.) Wrap the dough in wax paper or plastic wrap and chill for at least a half hour before rolling the crust on a generously floured surface. Use about 5/8 of the dough for the bottom crust, and don’t be afraid of pushing and patching it in the corners. Return the rolled top crust to the refrigerator while you prepare the filling.
Begin filling the pie by sprinkling the breadcrumbs on the bottom of the crust. Starting with a layer of apples, fill the crust with alternate layers of apples, sugar and cinnamon. Add a light dusting of flour if the apples are very juicy. Dot the final layer of sugar and cinnamon with butter. Cover with the top crust and seal the edges. Vent the crust by slashing or pricking it in a decorative pattern. Bake at 350 degrees until the apples are tender and the crust is brown, usually between 45 minutes and an hour. Let cool as long as you can stand it before cutting. Enjoy!
Posted 4 months, 4 weeks ago at 1:37 pm. Add a comment
Not only does my new anthology The Modern Fae’s Guide to Surviving Humanity have one of the world’s most gorgeous covers, it now has its very own web site, thanks to Joshua Palmatier (who also writes as Benjamin Tate), one of my two fabulous editors for “Fixed”. You can check it out here. Now to fill that events calendar!
Friday, November 18th, 2011 | Author: jmward14 | Blog | No Comments
Tonight my darling spouse learned exactly how good the Captain Blood costume I made for him twenty-five years ago really was. He’ll be at AnimeUSA tonight, cosplaying at the con ball, dressed as Fuhrer King Bradley from Full Metal Alchemist in a quite spiffy costume made by a friend–a costume with no elastic secreted in the waistband to accommodate (ahem) changes in manly girth, no pockets.
No fly.
Tee Hee.
Thursday, November 17th, 2011 | Author: jmward14 | Blog | No Comments
I had to shoot through glass (they close off that entrance after 11 p.m.–go figure!) so you can’t read it, but the shield with “Harris Teeter salutes the Wounded Warrior Project” is on the front to the lower left.
Wednesday, November 16th, 2011 | Author: jmward14 | Blog | 3 Comments
The Pentagon Row Harris Teeter, the one across I-395 from the Pentagon has a 1280-pound sculpture celebrating the Wounded Warrior Program.
In cheese.
I saw it today. All unsuspecting, I went into the store to pick up a few things for dinner. The doors whooshed open, My first thought was: What is that odor? It smells like Greg left something out of the refrigerator too long. Then I realized there were an awful lot of balloons in the display area to my left. Slowly, I turned… Yes, I do know that old Burles-Que routine, and no, the trigger has nothing to do with falls.
It's all about the cheese.
Orange. Glassy. Ripe. Carved into a replica of a famous statue embellished with a big shield proclaiming, "Harris Teeter Salutes the Wounded Warrior Project." In cheese.
According to this article, the sculpture's been around since at least Veterans Day. Based on personal observation, it's starting to separate in places. (See it while you can!) Store management tells me it's going to be taken away to the local homeless shelter any day now.
Words fail. My mouth opens. It closes. Somebody, somewhere thought it was a really cool idea to honor our veterans' service and sacrifice by memorializing it– In cheese.
A half ton of cheese, people. With little packages of Harris Teeter cheddar, the artist's chosen medium, artistically displayed around the base of the sculpture to let customers know that they, too, can buy a piece of (say it with me!)… CHEESE!
I apologize in advance, but somebody's got to say it: This gives a whole new meaning to the word "cheesy".
And people wonder where I get my ideas. No way, NO FRACKING WAY could I make this stuff up. *headdesk*headdesk*headdesk*
Posted 6 months, 1 week ago at 8:44 pm. 3 comments
More chewy video goodness. This one dates to Dragon*Con 2011 and features authors Leanna Renee Hieber, Gray Rinehart and Princess Alethea–Alethea Kontis–herself.
Posted 6 months, 3 weeks ago at 2:27 pm. Add a comment
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